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The patriarchy has been dismantled. Somehow a rogue AI read a prompt wrong, and it has left society without its dominant belief system. Much jubilation, HRT flows freely through taps, and the name John is extinct.

But I’m at a loss and I have questions.

Who is going to mistake intelligent thought for troublemaking and say you’re a bit much?

Who, on a shoot will say, “oi love, you here for catering?”

Where will the retirement home for cock blockers get built?

Who’s going to nick ideas and make them their own?

Who will regale us with tales of brilliance and how they do all the work?

Will the  ‘art’ of dick swinging, Big Dick Energy, ego-offs and black t-shirts fall out of favour?

Will there be major job losses at Imposter Syndrome HQ now no one is signing up?

How will we understand anything ever again without mansplaining to guide us?

Will I get off the list of people who not to put on “the list”?

Will IWD finally be canned for being tokenistic?

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

I have no answers, though I’m sure a woman near you already has some thoughts.

Footnote: don’t worry this is a work of fiction and the patriarchy is a belief system, not a gender, which alas, has not been smashed nor appears likely to be in my lifetime. Sad face.

In 2024, do we need to ‘imagine’ agencies run by women? After 16 years in the industry, I can honestly say now I believe… we’re finally living it. 

 

Yes, we’re still navigating the overhang of blokey-burnout culture,silly titles,and naming agencies after people’s surnames in long-winded-acronyms because it enhanced egos. 

(Go on, just have a think of all the agencies named after men). 

 

Anyway, for me, what a female-centric agency means is taking the best traits of a woman. And nurturing those traits within agency culture. 

 

 Less BS. More compassion. More care. And well, more getting shit done.

 

That’s not to say men can’t embody these traits. Some of the best men I’ve worked for have. And some of the worst women haven’t. 

 

But, right now, I’m very blimmin’ lucky to work with some incredible female leaders at Dentsu. 

 

The kind of women who put their arm around you when you need it. The kind of women who want you to succeed. And the women you want as your friend in this mad, old industry.

 

And let me tell you, none of them put up with ball-swinging BS. 

 

Here’s to a BS-free International Women’s Day. 

I’ve just returned from visiting my family in Liverpool where my sister-in-law has a print of the Guerilla Girls’ brilliant piece, . So my answer is dedicated to that seminal work and to my three-year-old niece, the world’s fiercest feminist in fairy wings. 

 

Looking around a table and realising you’re the only woman in the room.

Wondering if you’re in the room to ‘balance out the numbers’. 

Having the opportunity to bid on a job as the ‘wild-card’ option.

Hearing your ideas expressed by a male colleague, only moments after you’ve said them.

Rarely having the pressure of getting a comedy brief.

Developing a full repertoire of reasons you need to sit down during a hot flush.

Knowing that one day you might get called a ‘great female creative’.

Having the chance to assert your boundaries every time you insist that yes, you do need to leave at 4:30pm for the school run.

The thriftiness that comes from making 16 percent less than your male counterparts. 

Having loads of free time when you age out at 50.  

Cleverly timing a job move so that you can be in the new one for at least two years before getting pregnant. 

Excelling at those extra duties that come without salary compensation.

Only having to look up to a handful of role models.

Getting the chance to write about it all for International Women’s Day.

 

Why would we want a woman-centric industry when we’d lose out on all of the above?

While reading “The Bandit Queens” by Parini Shroff - which has nothing to do with advertising or mad men, but has to do with women carving their way in a man-made society, I got struck by a quote that can ring true to any woman, anywhere:

“Women are mobile, but only within the ambits delineated by men”.

Let’s put it this way: if the industry were a football pitch, women would be competing in an environment built for men. One in which they are evaluated not for how well they play, but for how much they can play like a man.

In fact, standards of competence and success in our business are designed the same way.

By men, for men, based on how men think and act.

To succeed, women try to embrace male qualities, which reflect parameters that are unfitting and inadequate for them.

So, instead of offering a step up, they almost unwittingly kick down.

Imagining a woman-centric industry is not about painting the box pink.

It’s about legitimacy.

It’s about throwing the whole box out of the window and building a new one.

One that is not led by women, but that is led with more female qualities.

One which values acceptance, consideration and empathy.An industry where success can be achieved by building each other up, not by bringing people down.

And I am glad I managed to say all of this without quoting Barbie. Almost.

An adland of women would be an adland where we are empowered by our vulnerability. 

 

The fastest growing employee segment in America is the sandwich generation - women who are caring for both children and aging parents. Women often take on the largest burden of care, and with the cost of care rising, the pressure is on to deliver at home and at work. How powerful we would feel if we could be vulnerable with each other about the challenges we face outside of work, so we could come to work stronger together. 

 

Gone would be the days of 8am and 5pm calls because we know women need this time for their families and selves. Thanks to our gender-driven talent as natural communicators, we’d probably have less meetings in general. How present we would be if we could take that time back to immerse ourselves in what gives us power. 

 

Here would be the days we could talk loudly about our caregiving responsibilities without worrying that we look less dedicated to our jobs. How safe we would feel when we could be honest about having to split our time unevenly  

 

We have many male supporters in adland today, and I am lucky to be surrounded by a supportive team at Carat, but a female collective in which vulnerability is allowed to shine through would be an adland where vulnerability ignites our full power.

 

Strong, powerful women shouldn’t need to conform to a stereotype, nor be too narrowly focused on shattering them. Women should just be themselves. In all their forms and all their wonderfulness. I oversee the people and culture function for two offices. Two offices led by strong women with definitive points of view. Women I learn something from every single day. They are strong leaders who lead with compassion and drive, always doing what is right for people – both their employees and their clients.

In my future world, I hope we strive for a human-centric industry. An industry that fully rewards and values the uniqueness everyone brings to the table. Inviting a wide range of thinkers, makers, doers and dreamers into our agencies. A range of humans who bring a million different traits with them that can only result in a wonderful merging of thought and amazing work. To quote the great Phyllis Robinson on her hiring practices, “There would be no point in having many, many little Bill Bernbachs and Phyllis Robinsons, a sort of assembly line product. Instead, we have all these wonderful strains of all these people intermingling.” Decades later, that’s still the goal. Having an agency full of diversely talented individuals being exactly who they are.

 

My inspiration for a truly woman-centric industry comes from the place I’ve always felt to be most supported by other women – the restroom. If the culture of the loo became the culture of the industry – here’s what I imagine it would look like: 

 

You can show up as your true self. There is no judgement in the women’srestroom. It is a place where you vent your frustrations, let your guard down and take a break from the “professional” mask we are told we need to wear to succeed. There are benefits to being real in the workplace – it makes you a better people leader, moreinsightful in problem solving and less afraid to do what is right. It would be an industry that lives how it leads. 

You would never go into it alone. The bathroom buddy system doesn’texist solely for the comradery, it’s also for collaboration, pressure testing ideas and gaining reassurance. It is a space for strategy, where we talk out our plans and get real-time feedback. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received came from the women’s restroom. Some from close confidants, some from strangers I’ve never seen again. If agencies were more like the women’s restroom, we’d have a culture of championing each other instead of only ourselves. 

An agency that always has your back. If there is a resource you need: a compliment, an extra set of hands, or an emergency tampon, you know that someone in the ladies’ room will be able to help you out in a jam. We are resourceful and helpful because we know it takes a village to raise a business. That means providing

 the flexibility, resources and benefits that help our village show up every day as their best selves. 

 

THE 21 MILLION BUSINESS. A SHORT STORY.

M: “Listen up. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. We win this client, we make history. Fuck Cannes, this is Nobel prize shit. This is real! It’s our moment. And in 14 minutes this team will walk into this room and blow their fucking minds.”

Applause.

S: “OMG, what was that?!”

P: “I can’t even … Did you ever witness anything like it?”

S: “Nah, I mean, I had my share of rude clients, staring at their phones, picking their noses … but that was … new.”

P: “It was wild. But you were amazing. Didn’t even flinch.”

S: “Told you, had my share. Also, congrats to you, I can smell that promotion.”

P: “I do deserve it … gonna add another 15K.”

S: “Wanna get a drink?”

P: “One? 10!”

Glasses clinking.

Someone burps.

S: “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

P: “Ssshhhhhhh. I think I’m like dead and dying.”

S: “Got home alright?”

P: “My taxi driver basically had to walk me to the door.”

S: “Well, you did drink everything that was handed to you.”

P: “And why wouldn’t I, it was free!”

Steps approach.

M: “You two! Into the meeting room. Client!”

Client: “Hello?! Hello?! Can you hear …”

M: “… yes. Can you hear …”

Client: “I don’t see anything! …I need my secretary.”

An almost silent fart. 

Client: “Can you hear me???!!!”

M: “Yes!!”

Client: “Brilliant. I’m calling on behalf of the whole marketing org and I’m happy to announce that you won the 21 million business.”

Champagne corks pop. Puking.

And now, let’s imagine, M. is Maggie, P. is Phoebe and S. is Sohal. Client is Ahn Nguyen, taxi drivers don’t grope you, liquid ecstasy is an urban myth, and the secretary is called Steve.

Let’s imagine female-run agencies are agencies run by humans. Don’t ya love it?